Summary of the Question:
"My 10-week-old baby becomes extremely distressed when he’s not with me. Dad tries everything—bottle-feeding, diaper changes, and comforting—but our baby only calms down for me. I’m worried about how my baby will cope when I start a volunteer position soon. How can we help him adjust and strengthen his bond with dad?"
Why is My Baby So Attached to Me?
At around 10 weeks, babies begin to form stronger attachments to their primary caregiver, usually the person who spends the most time providing comfort, food, and care. This attachment is normal and healthy but can make it difficult for babies to adjust to others—even a loving and involved parent like dad.
How to Help Your Baby Adjust
Here are strategies to foster your baby’s bond with dad and ease the transition for both parents:
1. Encourage Skin-to-Skin Contact
Skin-to-skin time isn’t just for moms. Encourage dad to hold your baby against his chest during quiet moments, such as after baths or during feeds. This can help your baby associate dad with comfort and warmth.
2. Incorporate Dad Into Daily Routines
Babies thrive on routine, and involving dad in predictable activities can help build trust:
- Have dad handle one daily routine, such as bath time or evening walks.
- Let dad take the lead on tummy time or playing with toys.
3. Gradual Separation
Start with short periods where dad is the sole caregiver while you’re at home:
- Leave the room for 5–10 minutes while dad soothes or entertains your baby.
- Gradually increase the time away to build your baby’s comfort with dad.
4. Introduce Bottle Feeding Slowly
If your baby refuses bottles from dad, try these steps:
- Offer the bottle when your baby is calm and not overly hungry.
- Use a bottle nipple that mimics breastfeeding.
- Sit nearby while dad feeds to reassure your baby.
- Try paced bottle feeding to mimic breastfeeding’s natural rhythm.
5. Have Dad Use the Carrier
Wearing your baby in a carrier can help him feel safe and close to dad. This hands-free bonding time during walks or errands can be incredibly comforting for both.
6. Be Patient With Crying
It’s hard to see your baby cry, but short bursts of fussiness while transitioning to dad are normal. Step in only when absolutely necessary to avoid reinforcing the idea that only you can soothe him.
Preparing for Your Time Away
If you’re starting a volunteer position soon, here’s how to make the transition easier:
- Practice Short Absences: Leave your baby with dad for short periods and gradually extend the time.
- Create a Comfort Item: Leave behind something that smells like you, such as a worn shirt or blanket.
- Establish a Routine: Ensure dad follows a consistent routine during your time away, as babies find comfort in predictability.
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- Access personalized tips for bonding and caregiving.
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Additional Resources
For more tips, check out these trusted resources:
- HealthyChildren.org - Bonding With Your Baby
- La Leche League - Introducing a Bottle to a Breastfed Baby
- NHS Advice on Infant Development
With patience, practice, and the support of tools like YOYA AI, your baby will learn to thrive with both parents. Building bonds takes time, but the rewards are well worth it!